bethica (split_thingies) wrote,
bethica
split_thingies

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frozen fucking fingers

as winter approaches the temperature in siberia drops from the usual -50 degrees to a lovely -80. this is a time when both j and i derive much amusement from chewing on our frost bitten, lifeless, numb fingers and toes. j is lucky that she doesn't have to use our rotting stubs of flesh that were fingers at birth to type. i envy her psycho-kinetic powers.
we have recovered quite well from our drunk moose episode and continue to deliver our evil plots upon the human race, of which we are unfortunately a part of. we are currently devising a fucking AMAZING plan that will enable us to gather all the socks in the entire world, fill them with our collection of starving mutant cockroaches, and return all the socks in just one night. we have mutated our pet cockroaches by feeding them our favourite consumption - battery acid of course, and the mutation that we encouraged (by hacking up the wrong mutants) was large lion-like jaws. in the morning following our night of sock filling, the humans will put on their socks and their feet will be devoured in the most painful 5 seconds of their lives.
of course this not amazing, but shitty plan will most likely be disrupted and ruined when j takes over and eats all the cockroaches. if this happens, then atleast we will have had a very tasty meal.
- b
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