bethica (split_thingies) wrote,
bethica
split_thingies

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simple people.

it seemed that j managed to hypnotize my side of our personality so that whenever i took over our body i thought that i was a drunk moose. this led to me eating the grass on some detestable suburban person's lawn. the lawn had been treated by some company called "destroya-life, growa-lawn". this company asks that you kill a person (preferably a virgin) so that their worker's might sprinkle their life-juice over the lawn while asking satan to help the grass grow thick and green. environmentalists/naturalists seem to like this program because it does not involve the spraying of chemicals. these hippy types also urge you to be thinking of the earth when choose your victim; an example would be to choose the president of the local logging company. this does not always work though because they are never virgins and probably the furthest thing from innocent (excluding us of course).
unfortunately in the event that satan does not help out, they spray the grass with an extremely hazardous chemical that causes the grass to stand erect, and is fatal upon consumption. they then proceed to spray paint the grass green (with an aerosol can that is NOT ozone friendly).
this was the case with the lawn from which i decided to eat while believing that i truly was a drunk moose. obviously we did not die. the years we have spent drinking battery acid prepared our body for such an event... we merely slipped into a coma for several weeks. but as you can see from my post and j's post, we are back to cause you all massive amounts of pain and most of all - annoyance.

j somehow locked us inside of our windowless cabin. i am forced to drink our own urine. i am not a drunk moose.
-b
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