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b - i'm not so much the other half as i am 2/3 MWAHAHA   
05:15pm 22/10/2003
  it is true, we were finally together again wreaking madness on dolphins when i left for the cold. we delight in dolphin explosions. j delights in the fecal aspect of it... but then again, j delights in the fecal aspect of everything.
-B
 
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Jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj   
06:09pm 26/09/2003
 
mood: cold
my dearest b has run to the freezing wasteland side of her mind- and gasp!!
left me behind?
why oh why, have you left me you ungrateful whore?
wasn't i worth more?
dogs scream. children whine. old people pee in their bladder sacks.
black people eat fried chickens by the sacks!!
white trash sit back and laugh....at nothing.
and then i shit my pants.

thank you.
-a poem by j.
 
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together again to put live moths in your eyes!   
03:02am 13/04/2003
 
mood: evil
as the world quickens its pace to its inevitable destruction, j and i have been doing nothing. thats right, nothing because although we are one in the same person we have actually been very far apart. you see whenever one of us tries to take over, we fall into an unconscious state. this means we can't talk (imagine the way sexy lil smiegel talks to himself in that weird ass movie). but! this will end in exactly one week. we will be together again!!!!!! we will be full of disastrous plans and so very hungry for the flesh of french and belgian children. and libertarians.... mmmmm....
 
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frozen fucking fingers   
03:53pm 10/10/2002
 
mood: predatory
as winter approaches the temperature in siberia drops from the usual -50 degrees to a lovely -80. this is a time when both j and i derive much amusement from chewing on our frost bitten, lifeless, numb fingers and toes. j is lucky that she doesn't have to use our rotting stubs of flesh that were fingers at birth to type. i envy her psycho-kinetic powers.
we have recovered quite well from our drunk moose episode and continue to deliver our evil plots upon the human race, of which we are unfortunately a part of. we are currently devising a fucking AMAZING plan that will enable us to gather all the socks in the entire world, fill them with our collection of starving mutant cockroaches, and return all the socks in just one night. we have mutated our pet cockroaches by feeding them our favourite consumption - battery acid of course, and the mutation that we encouraged (by hacking up the wrong mutants) was large lion-like jaws. in the morning following our night of sock filling, the humans will put on their socks and their feet will be devoured in the most painful 5 seconds of their lives.
of course this not amazing, but shitty plan will most likely be disrupted and ruined when j takes over and eats all the cockroaches. if this happens, then atleast we will have had a very tasty meal.
- b
 
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simple people.   
07:21pm 25/09/2002
 
mood: cynical
it seemed that j managed to hypnotize my side of our personality so that whenever i took over our body i thought that i was a drunk moose. this led to me eating the grass on some detestable suburban person's lawn. the lawn had been treated by some company called "destroya-life, growa-lawn". this company asks that you kill a person (preferably a virgin) so that their worker's might sprinkle their life-juice over the lawn while asking satan to help the grass grow thick and green. environmentalists/naturalists seem to like this program because it does not involve the spraying of chemicals. these hippy types also urge you to be thinking of the earth when choose your victim; an example would be to choose the president of the local logging company. this does not always work though because they are never virgins and probably the furthest thing from innocent (excluding us of course).
unfortunately in the event that satan does not help out, they spray the grass with an extremely hazardous chemical that causes the grass to stand erect, and is fatal upon consumption. they then proceed to spray paint the grass green (with an aerosol can that is NOT ozone friendly).
this was the case with the lawn from which i decided to eat while believing that i truly was a drunk moose. obviously we did not die. the years we have spent drinking battery acid prepared our body for such an event... we merely slipped into a coma for several weeks. but as you can see from my post and j's post, we are back to cause you all massive amounts of pain and most of all - annoyance.

j somehow locked us inside of our windowless cabin. i am forced to drink our own urine. i am not a drunk moose.
-b
 
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09:46pm 24/09/2002
 
mood: kooky
i love oog. it is too much of a fun fun thing. i ate paint gas.

-j
 
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soapbox   
09:40am 13/08/2002
 
mood: cranky
ahh holy fuckness. i have spawned this GLORY of masterful production. my brain has been frying..well, actually i just decided to turn my hairdrier on B in her sleep, that is why her limbs have been much too unproductive to move. oh well, they will grease up in time. for now, the burning prolongs! wait, i must go pour some more cowlardgrease all over B's face so her nostrils will open up again.

ahh! i am back. the mintiness of my lactose-intolerance is GONE! hooray for this freedomful product of evil mankind. i love worms. jesus christ is that not a cow?! fuck you! FFFFFFFUUUCK YOU! waffles. i'm ok it's just the temporary exit signs kicking me in my acid-induced brainface! brainface, you hear?! moo moo moo, i'm voodoo cursing you.

i must go destroy those pesky olsen twins now. goodbye.

-j
 
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01:06pm 12/08/2002
  wrecking havoc on the mindless. it is too fun.

-j
 
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a subject of no matters   
10:25am 05/08/2002
 
mood: contemplative
finally! my mind has learned to type by will!

b ahaha... i have created the ultimate disaster i will unleash to you pathetic fools.
an icon of mass proportions! me!
me and myself of course *cough*

...i hate you.

-j
 
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subject fuckject   
03:48am 04/08/2002
 
mood: bitchy
j has not been able to update lately because she will not touch the keyboard. she is attempting to practice her psycho-kinetic powers on it by seeing if she can type without touching the board. once she masters this power she will be able to update on here again. i on the other hand do not have psycho-kinetic powers and am forced to employ my fingers.

yesterday we went to the lake where we drink our water and emptied battery acid into it. tomorrow we will collect the dead fish and feed them to the rodents. in 3 days we will collect the dead rodents and store them until they become rotten enough to eat.
 
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07:51pm 31/07/2002
 
mood: grumpy
b again. we just finished supper. baby fat and sloth shit. tasty stuff. j cooked it, shes real good at that kind of stuff.
 
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01:58am 29/07/2002
 
mood: evil
b here. we went to the mall today. i was about to steal some candy from an ugly baby when j took over. she wanted to outdo my evilness so she stole the baby's whole stroller. and the candy. bitch.
 
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07:28pm 28/07/2002
 
mood: bored
i am the much more evil, more fucked up personality. i am known as 'j'. i am also very lame.

today was a day of inevitability. interesting. mmm kraft mac n cheese.
i hate monkeys. they smell.
 
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04:12pm 26/07/2002
  i am the b half of bethica. i am evil, but so is the j half. prepare for our long evil fingers that are ugly!  
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